• The Soul Smoking Truth of Human Connection.

    As a kid, I sometimes felt sad and lonely. Perhaps, you can relate.

    Laying in bed at night, my brother sleeping under the covers next to me and my mom just down the hall, things never really made sense to me. And that ached.

    I remember wanting to be heard and understood. My five-year-old brain didn’t have a whole lot of restrictive programming, so I just started talking to God (and if you don’t believe in God you could consider I was talking to my Soul-Self).

    I came to understand early on that being human also involved this feeling of wanting to be loved and connected. We all yearn for that. Sometimes life provides that and often it doesn’t.

    What I also have come to understand is that this very longing is the greatest gift of all to human connection . . Why? Because those of us willing to embrace that feeling and look more deeply into it, are likely to discover a liberation that goes beyond intellectual understanding. It is knowing that loneliness is not real.

    Consider this: I know many people who are married, in community, leading teams and running companies who feel lonely, even though they are rarely alone. I know this because, for over twenty years, I have been listening deeply to people. I have learned to listen to a person’s Soul as opposed to just the content of what they are saying. Yes, content matters, but often a person wants to be heard beyond their words. I have wanted to be heard that way in my life. And if I have felt that way, then I suspect you may have felt that way too because you and I are not that different.

    Sure, we may look different, behave differently, have completely different beliefs about life, religion, politics, social norms or whatever, but deep inside, in our essence, we are very much the same.

    This is what I have learned in deeply listening to people for a lifetime. We are ONE and buying in to the illusion that we are separate is the greatest sickness on the planet today because that is what produces the feeling of loneliness.

    This has gotten so far out of hand that loneliness is considered an epidemic today. And while I don’t have any science to prove it, I suspect it’s pandemic in North America.

    I recently read a study put out by the Health Resources and Service Administration (HRSA) that concludes that “loneliness is more dangerous than obesity and as damaging to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day”. I think this puts into perspective that the trajectory of human connection as a world trend, may be going in the wrong direction.

    One solution to this, I believe, is found by exploring a more fundamental question: What does your Soul want? Pursuing this question requires courage. But authentic people can handle that. Being a Soul Centered Person means having a brave heart. It means venturing into the unknown, peeling back the layers of comfort and turning to face the destructive dragon of our own darkness.

    For example, I have learned, through listening to the hearts of others, that reaching goals doesn’t necessarily produce fulfillment. I have supported thousands of people over the years in accomplishing huge goals. Yes, often there is elation from great victories. And still, sometimes, that person has felt lonelier because they still didn’t have the experience of acceptance and connection they anticipated.

    However, I believe we can have both accomplishment and fulfillment. We are living in a time, when some of us are going out of our comfort zones to share the depth of our humanity with others. And as we do, we become more human, more available and, dare I say, more approachable as leaders; leaders in life to be certain and leaders in business.

    It takes courage to live from our humanity and I believe we can enhance our life experience as a result of doing it.

    And forgive me for the oversimplification, but I want to add some tangibility to a topic that is ethereal at best. What if you just give your Soul more of a voice? What if you were to allow the Soul, as opposed to the Ego, to guide you? One thing is for sure: you would probably live a life in acceptance rather than judging things through the filter of right and wrong. I say this because I believe the Soul is interested only in learning, growth, and advancement. So the tendency would be

    toward looking at things through the lens of acceptance, which allows the Soul greater expansion where judgment only produces contraction.

    Does that mean you don’t care? Hell no! It means you “care so much that you transcend care”. Human beings who understand this idea, are powerful people to be around because they don’t withhold thoughts, feelings or actions and they are also somehow detached from expectation as they go about changing the world. These beautiful, courageous Souls infuse everything with a ton of Love.

    Ultimately, love is what it’s all about. And I have found that being courageous and speaking the truth as I know it, whether it’s popular or not, does not create barriers between me and others as I feared it would. In fact, it does just the opposite. My authenticity opens the doors to greater trust, connection, and, yes, love. And that’s what, as human beings, I believe we’re all striving for because in the presence of love there is no sad or lonely.

    So, how can you put this into action? If you happen to feel brave today, this is what I encourage you to do: Get quiet. I don’t mean at the stoplight. I mean sitting somewhere where you will not be interrupted. Turn off your phone. Close your eyes. Just listen to yourself breathe for a minute or two. Then turn your awareness to the inner level of your being. When you’re still, ask the question: What does my Soul need from me?

    Then, listen. Do your best not to filter, judge or interpret. Just listen.

    What do you think you might hear? What might you do with that, information?

  • Potato Chips and Crying!

    I am a very ordinary man.

    And never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever write a letter like this because, to me, it’s obvious how ordinary I am. Apparently, though, it’s not so obvious to some other folks.

    I had a very meaningful conversation with my friend Carolyn Freyer-Jones yesterday. She pointed out to me, that some “people” may have a perception that I do not struggle.

    I know that is not all people and, more to the point, most people could give a rat’s ass about what I am doing each day anyway. Yet, somehow the illusion is that my fitness level, my leadership business, and other things I do in my life just move along without a hitch and do not require much effort from me.

    To be clear as a wind chime, I have all the same challenges we all do.

    As some of you know, I believe 60 is the new 40 and I intend to do my part to make that a reality for those interested. While I feel better than ever, I work at it. Maybe it looks effortless because people don’t see the early morning breathwork, the consistent calling in the Light, or the diving into an icy river at 6:00 AM to relieve inflammation. It’s hard work to stay vital. However, to me, the hard work is worth it.

    The same is true for my business. I had a corporate job once that was so out of alignment for me that I left some big money on the table and went back to waiting on tables. When I figured out what I really wanted to do, it took decades to fine-tune the nuance in my business. I believe that any of us who have built an enterprise would likely say something similar. Running a leadership company isn’t easy, but I wouldn’t trade it for a date with the whole Swedish Bikini swim team. It truly has rewards beyond description.

    Of course, I have had disappointments in my life. A few of them literally took me to my knees. I have been divorced twice and I did the deep emotional work to alleviate a ton of self-judgment there. Was that hard? Yes, it was very challenging.

    For me, the path of a successful life is one of acceptance, willingness, and gratitude. Nothing new here, except that talking about it is one thing and getting those frequencies into your bones is another thing entirely.

    To be willing and able to maintain my sanity, my health, my fitness, my business—my life—during these times required tremendous faith and unceasing vigilance. Every day, I chose to find gratitude and to surrender to God as a way of moving forward. The point for me—and I think for all of us—is I am very ordinary, yet I have been willing to persevere and bolster that with tremendous faith in Spirit. We all have a spiritual curriculum and as a dear friend pointed out to me, there are no apples in a hardware store. That is, you won’t find what you’re looking for in the wrong place no matter how much you want it to be there. Accepting that isn’t easy, though it does limit the struggle.

    Further, on a more practical level, I feel hard work is unpopular. Every day we see people hoping for great wealth and fame without providing much value. While it is not for me to judge these people, I feel

    deeply that creating something valuable takes hard work—and making hard work graceful is the greatest secret of all.

    I am responsible for only my thoughts, my feelings and my chosen level of success. Once, I shared with Gina Murdock, founder of the Lead with Love team, that hard work is good for us. She liked that and we laughed about the audacity of thinking that everything should be easy all of the time. As you all know, the real grunt work happens in the spaces in between: late at night when nobody is watching, or before or after meetings when I serve someone who needs help. Or when I’m feeling scared shitless of another’s personal reaction and I say the truth anyway.

    Do all of these things get easier over time? Maybe. Maybe not. Regardless, I believe they grow us into human beings that are adept and resilient in the face of the complications of life. Then, even if these things still scare us, life can become easier. And, as I used to say in every seminar I taught for ten years, “avoiding never works”. So why put off the hard stuff when we inevitably will have to do it.

    Lastly, yes, I eat potato chips when I am stressed. Yes, I cry sometimes from feeling like a total mess or feeling alone in my home at night. Yes, I am bummed when my programs don’t go well, or people disappointment me. However, here is the thing: If I have become accomplished at anything in my 57 years of life, it is that I am really good at letting go fast. I am good at limiting my downtime. I let myself eat, cry, whine, blame, gossip…but only for a wee bit. My teacher John Morton taught me that. He showed me how to lose it and come back fast.

    Seinfeld Chips GIF - Seinfeld Chips Eating GIFs

    If there is anything that you may take from my brief rant here, it’s this: When things go south in life, which they will, then I suggest you limit the amount of time you go south with them. Come back to yourself and your purpose and your inspiration as fast as you can.

    I welcome any insights you may wish to share about your life journey. What are your key learnings?

    To me, we are all in this together and none of us is exempt from struggle. I am grateful that from the outside looking in, it appears I have it together all the time. But rest assured, I am struggling alongside the rest of us. However, I have also found keys to enjoying the heck out of my life. And I’m willing to share them.



  • Leadership and Wellbeing

    Leadership and Wellbeing

    Among the most important assets we possess as a leader are our strength and vitality.

    Most of us have had times in our lives where we have experienced low energy or health challenges, so you may well understand what I am talking about.

    While it may sound odd for me to admit, I am grateful for the past health challenges I have experienced. Those times in my life have put me on a solid path of commitment toward my wellbeing.

    I don’t think I’d appreciate my wellness nearly as much if it weren’t for the times when I needed to learn to take care of myself.  I now pay close attention to my health, fitness, and vitality every day.

    While, it may sound simple, my devotion to a morning ritual of prayer, breathwork, cold exposure, journaling, and exercise inspire a positive trajectory for each day.

    The brain that comes up with my ideas, the hands that write them down, the voice that communicates them, the legs that carry me to appointments, and, most important, the energy that moves me through each day, are all contained within my physical body. You might say that, at the most basic level, my body is the home in which I live, the primary office in which I get work done, and yes, the temple in which I connect with God.


    In the past, I have done some hospice work where individuals were preparing to transition. I would often ask these people what they thought was most important in life. One of the two most common responses I heard was “your health”. Why? Because the elderly could look back and see that whenever their health fell apart, everything else was diminished.

    My body is where my whole life begins and where all my experience comes to rest. If it’s not in top working condition, I can’t do the things I want to do to manifest my greater vision.

    Like anything else in life, wellbeing requires planning, focus, and effort to make positive changes. And unfortunately, many of my clients wait until there is a problem before making adjustments.

    Today’s, message is a call to action for you or someone you love to get proactive with this thing called wellness.

    The easiest place to start is to look at your nutrition and the idea that food is medicine. While your body is amazing, it cannot run forever on processed non-food that is flooding the market these days. The good news is, there are plenty of delicious and healthy options to choose from. Stay as close to nature in your food choices, get inspired by creating your own morning ritual, move your body every day and experience the grace that can come from these simple adjustments.

    In joy,

    Stephen McGhee

    Interested in learning more about Life, Leadership, and Longevity?
    Limited enrollment for my new program L3 is now available.

    Click Here.

  • Self-Acceptance and Trust Your Gut

    When I was in my twenties, I had an experience that taught me self-acceptance.

    It wasn’t the kind of Self-Acceptance, that comes from Ego, rather it was Self-Acceptance that felt like, “I can take care of myself.” It was a kind of acceptance that said, “I accept myself enough, to trust that inner voice inside that knows what’s best for me.”

    In 1991, I had a very frightening health crisis and could have died,  while lying in the hospital, I was put in touch with the Lord—the spirit within and its connection to everything. Then: I had a profound opening to make a choice about how to live the rest of my life. And because, during that frightening process, I’d discovered more about living than I ever thought was possible.

    By the way, I don’t believe you need to have a health crisis to learn to accept yourself.

    Here’s why:

    Some people will tell you the truth as they see it, but that doesn’t mean it’s the truth for you. And some others are outright lying, trying to point you in a direction that benefits them, without any interest in its effects on you.

    The bottom line is, while it’s helpful to surround yourself with supporters interested in relationships of mutual service, ultimately the best person to rely on when you make choices—is you.

    To make choices in alignment with your true north will require you to become intimately familiar with yourself: who you are, what your purpose is, and how you can fulfill your potential. Then, when you find yourself struggling with a decision, your question will be, “In what way will this or that choice serve my greater purpose, as I see it?

    So, the message today is ultimately about accepting yourself more fully, rather than seeking approval from others, as extrinsic validation.

    Personally, I feel a good way to approach this is to live my life in a way that involves trusting my gut. How does that work? Like everything, it takes practice, slowing down, breathing and listening to the quiet peaceful voice inside.

    What is that voice telling you?

    What happened to me is a simple reminder of one of the most real truths there is: your body is going to die. There is no escaping that. So, if you’re holding back on anything you have to give, stop. Worried about being judged for your creative ideas? Skip it.

    Today, is a message of inspiration and encouragement to you, as a man or woman that leads your own life in the most beautiful and auspicious ways.

    In joy,

    Stephen McGhee

  • Vitality and Stephen McGhee’s Top 3-Reasons to Do a Long Fast

    Good Morning,

    Some of you know, I have been in a deep soulful dive the past few years to share and create my next level contribution to Life and Leadership. It comes in the form of the L3 Program which means Life, Leadership, and Longevity.

    I’ll be releasing more about my program come July 4th (day of liberation) and I wanted to share a sneak peek into a piece of the program I consider a foundational start.

    Did you know you can activate stem cell-based renewal in your body?

    How is that, you ask? Simple: Longer fasts.

    Want to know something even crazier? The stem cell-based rejuvenation is only ONE of the reasons I do a multi-day fast every 3 months.

    Why I Like Fasting
    People are curious when they find out I fast. They immediately ask me, ‘Why?’

    I’ll tell you why. I’m a fan of doing things that get disproportionate results.

    That’s why I love:

    * Conscious Breathing
    * Cold Therapy

    These produce benefits that outweigh the energy needed to get them. The same thing is true with long fasts. When you do a long fast you get nearly a dozen key benefits.

    With long fasts you:

    *Lose Stubborn Abdominal Fat
    *Activate Rejuvenation from Within
    *Experience Mental Clarity
    *Your Skin Looks and Feels Better

    And that’s just the common benefits!

    With all these great reasons to do a longer fast, can you guess what was holding me back?

    I didn’t want to go without food!!
    I didn’t want to be hungry …..or hangry.

    But then I discovered I could do a 5-day fast with really tasty food using a scientifically formulated and patented meal program called ProLon. With ProLon, I would be able to tap into all the benefits of a 5-day fast.

    Here are my three favorite benefits:

    Benefit 1: Long Fasts Promote Cellular Rejuvenation
    With ProLon you can unlock your body’s innate ability to regenerate from within!

    Benefit 2: You Get Visible Weight Loss Results from Dangerous Abdominal Fat
    When you do a long fast your body burns abdominal fat (also known as toxic fat). ProLon’s 5-day program helps you not only feel better, but you also look better and feel more confident in your appearance.

    Benefit 3: It Combats Aging
    I won’t say long fasts are a fountain of youth. What I will say is that ProLon produces a profound impact on the body and its ability to fight the signs of aging.

    Interested In Getting These MASSIVE Health Benefits?
    If you are ready for a change, health benefits you love, and successfully completing your first long fast, visit ProLon. There you can read the reviews, check out the science and tune in to an unboxing videos.

    Just click this ProLon Link and, if you decide to give it a try, use promo code:

    Stephen25 (10% off 1 or 2 boxes)
    Stephenboxes (20% if they buy 3 boxes or more)

    Currently, this discount link expires by 7/31/2019

    Looking forward to sharing more with you soon.

    -Stephen McGhee

  • Authentic Leaders Live

    I am excited to be part of a free online series with my friend Judi Glova called
    Your Mindful Mastery.  You can have access to this free series by signing up here.

    My interview airs November 2nd and registration gets you access to over 24 other speakers as well.  Check out this teaser about creating excellence in your life. https://vimeo.com/233879335

    I hope you can take advantage of this free series.

    Stephen McGhee


  • Mindset Mastery

    I recently did an interview with Judi Glova, a friend and colleague of mine…and I loved how the interview went. It was powerful and addresses how to navigate some of the feelings below.

    • You’ve been stuck in the hustle but you really want to spend time with the people and projects that really matter to you
    • You’re questioning if you’ll ever have enough money, fulfillment and clarity so you can breakthrough to up-level your game
    • You second-guess if you even have what it takes to get to the next level but know you can’t keep pushing harder — you need to work smarter.

    Here’s the thing…at times, you may be experiencing mindset blocks that are holding you back — and if this is the case, you absolutely CAN learn how to overcome them. And I have an invitation for you http://yourmindsetmasteryseries.com/registration/?ap_id=McGhee

    Judi is and executive business coach and leadership development facilitator is bringing together over 25 experts, including me, for a brand new, no-cost, online video interview series:

    Your Mindset Mastery:
    Winning Strategies to Create More Time, Money, and Meaning
    in Your Life & Business.

    Shift Your Mindset, Transform Your Results

    When you go to the link above and sign up, you’ll join me and other experts Oct 24–Nov 5th. Together we will discover how overthinking and worrying can create blocks, and everything you need to overcome it so you so you can finally find the meaning, fulfillment and breakthrough you crave!

    You’ll also discover:

    • A clear picture of how your mindset is wired (you may be telling yourself stories that keep you from taking the actions necessary to get the things you believe you want — which explains why you struggle to create the results you work so hard for)
    • How you get in your own way and what to do about it —so you can stop the spinning and mental noise, and get to the next level
    • Dozens of practical tools so you can make the time, money and meaning you desire, rather than chasing it
    • And so much more.

    You’ll walk away with greater self-trust AND the tools you need to achieve greater productivity, better financial rewards, and more success (however you define it)!

    >Get f.r.e.e. access now, to join us starting October 24<<

    Judi is the perfect person to host this summit because she’s been in your shoes. For more than 17 years in a fast-paced corporate job, she felt anxious and driven to perfection, until she learned that her own misinformed mindset was telling her she wasn’t as good as the others… and couldn’t be that successful. Everything changed when she learned to master her mindset. And for the last 12 years she’s been coaching executives like you to do the same.

    Now, during Your Mindset Mastery, she’s sharing the tools she learned — and bringing together a brilliant roster of experts on this topic — so you can master YOUR mindset and make the shifts to live the life you really want. When you join us, you’ll learn how to release the limiting mindsets and triggers that aren’t working for you, and create new ones that move you powerfully forward.

    Sign up here, and remember, it all begins October 24. >>>Master Your Mindset<<<

    To your success,

    Stephen McGhee

    P.S. What got you here won’t get you to the next level! If you want to achieve greater success, you’ve got to do the inner work and develop (and use!) new tools. We’ll show you how, starting October 24 during Your Mindset Mastery: Winning Strategies to Create More Time, Money, and Meaning in Your Life & Business. Sign up here:

  • How to Get What You Want

    Can I be real with you?

    For the past 25 years, I have guided business executives and influential leaders across the globe to go beyond self-imposed limitations to new levels of leadership. I am an international keynote speaker and author of three books on leadership. I have transformed accomplished individuals around the country and initiated cultural change with major corporations like Microsoft, Merck, Georgia Pacific and Firestone. I recently completed my first film, Climb For Freedom, a documentary about the transformation of seven men summiting one of the world’s highest peaks and the profound impact of that journey on their lives and relationships.

    Why am I sharing all this with you? To brag? Certainly not. I’m sharing this with you because my life almost went a very different direction – a direction not aligned in my truth and purpose in this life.

    You see, in 1994 I decided to leave a very prosperous position as an investment banker. In theory, I had it all. However, for me the work I was doing was not integral. Our business practices were out of alignment. I left banking to pursue the entelechy of my Soul. I let my insurance lapse and found myself in the emergency room, from a weight training accident. They gave me a strong medication to remove a blood clot and I can remember leaving my body. I spent the next 8 days in intensive care. This was a great gift to me, because I had time to ruminate on my life.

    This experience was clarifying for me and I feel as if I received information on leadership that I have been teaching ever since. It was a pivotal time for me, as I left the finance world and came away with a sense that anything is possible.

    I’m not suggesting you experience a life-threatening experience like I did. But maybe this sounds familiar to you. Maybe you’re stuck in serving other people’s expectations of you at the cost of your own. You’ve reached a certain level of success … but you want more. You feel like, if you just keep pushing harder and harder, you should be able to break free, achieve more, earn more, impact more, and reach the level of excellence that you are made for.

    The problem: something keeps getting in the way, doesn’t it? You know this; you feel this. I’ve been there. There is a solution.

    I’m inviting you to Join me beginning April 3, 2017, for AUTHENTIC LEADERSHIP: Supercharge Your Productivity & Team’s Engagement, and Achieve Even More Incredible Success in Business, a FREE online series designed to guide you in accessing your inner wisdom so you can be an authentic, courageous leader, while increasing your productivity and effectiveness.

    This is a Joint Partnership opportunity with my friend and executive business coach colleague, Judi Glova. Judi is spearheading this special limited series with me and over 20 other experts in the field to share our secrets and strategies for authentic leadership.

    A few words from Judi…

    Join Stephen, me and 20+ other leaders for this special free online series where, you’ll discover how to create a clear path forward—from where you are now to exactly where you want to be in your life, leadership, and happiness.

    Here’s exactly what you’ll get:

    • Develop a clear picture of what Authentic Leadership is, what it means for you, and how to start living it, so you can enjoy being an incredible leader while achieving and maintaining that level of excellence about which you’re so passionate.
    • Discover how you are getting in your own way of being the kick-ass leader you were meant to be and what to do about it, so you can get the most out of your team and get the results you want.
    • Learn the importance of a powerful mindset and how to move beyond your self-imposed limitations, for good.
    • Learn powerful tools and strategies to dramatically increase your ability to experience more focus, productivity, success, and money in business.
    • And more.

    By now, you’re beginning to understand that pushing harder isn’t necessarily the answer. And you know giving up isn’t in your nature. The good news is that with what we’re sharing with you on the AUTHENTIC LEADERSHIP: Supercharge Your Productivity & Team’s Engagement, and Achieve Even More Incredible Success in Business, you’ll discover that you don’t have to push, and you certainly shouldn’t give up.

    When you discover how to access, deeply access, your own intuition and own your value—which we’ll show you how to do—you can unleash a force stronger than you ever thought possible and become the leader you have the potential to be.

    I know this from experience: for nearly 20 years grinding through the corporate world I bought into the “fake it ’til you make it” philosophy. Constantly trying to prove my worth, I burnt out. I started my executive coaching and leadership development business 12 years ago to ensure other brilliant leaders, like you and me, don’t make the same mistakes. This free online series is the culmination of several years and considerable financial investment in tapping into the strongest, most productive leaders from around the world.

    Now, we’re coming together to share our practical, proven strategies for becoming the best, most effective, most authentic leader you can be—and it’s FREE.

    Sign up here to reserve your spot for the April 3rd kick-off. Space is limited and this program is likely to fill.

    Be The Best Leader You Can Be <<< Reserve Your Spot At No Cost

    If you’re ready to get real, embrace courage, and unearth your greatest potential, this is your chance!

    To your success

    Stephen and Judi

    P.S. When you put to use the strategies we’re sharing on this online series, you’ll find that you don’t have to push hard to be a better leader. When you’re in the zone, everything flows! Plus, when you sign up to join us, you’ll receive special gifts from most of the experts, designed to guide you toward successful, effective, authentic leadership. So sign up now, here:

    Get Out Of Your Own Way <<< Discover Authentic Leadership

  • The Art of Transition

    Today, rather than posting my own thoughts of Life and Leadership, I am posting a fantastic article on the art of transition.

    In my keynote speech in October 2016 in Aspen, at the “Lead with Love” conference at the Aspen Institute, I spoke to this very same idea. As leaders we must find ways to stay in the transition, and even moreover, learn to love the feeling of transition.

    Enjoy the writings from Danaan Parry:

    Trapeze by Danaan Parrytrapeze-thumbs-up

    Sometimes I feel that my life is a series of trapeze swings. I’m either hanging on to a trapeze bar swinging along or, for a few moments in my life, I’m hurtling across space in between trapeze bars.

    Most of the time, I spend my life hanging on for dear life to my trapeze-bar-of-the-moment. It carries me along at a certain steady rate of swing and I have the feeling that I’m in control of my life.

    I know most of the right questions and even some of the answers.

    But every once in a while as I’m merrily (or even not-so-merrily) swinging along, I look out ahead of me into the distance and what do I see? I see another trapeze bar swinging toward me. It’s empty and I know, in that place in me that knows, that this new trapeze bar has my name on it. It is my next step, my growth, my aliveness coming to get me. In my heart of hearts I know that, for me to grow, I must release my grip on this present, well-known bar and move to the new one.

    Each time it happens to me I hope (no, I pray) that I won’t have to let go of my old bar completely before I grab the new one. But in my knowing place, I know that I must totally release my grasp on my old bar and, for some moment in time, I must hurtle across space before I can grab onto the new bar.

    Each time, I am filled with terror. It doesn’t matter that in all my previous hurtles across the void of unknowing I have always made it. I am each time afraid that I will miss, that I will be crushed on unseen rocks in the bottomless chasm between bars. I do it anyway. Perhaps this is the essence of what the mystics call the faith experience. No guarantees, no net, no insurance policy, but you do it anyway because somehow to keep hanging on to that old bar is no longer on the list of alternatives. So, for an eternity that can last a microsecond or a thousand lifetimes, I soar across the dark void of “the past is gone, the future is not yet here.”

    It’s called “transition.” I have come to believe that this transition is the only place that real change occurs. I mean real change, not the pseudo-change that only lasts until the next time my old buttons get punched.

    I have noticed that, in our culture, this transition zone is looked upon as a “no-thing,” a noplace between places. Sure, the old trapeze bar was real, and that new one coming towards me, I hope that’s real, too. But the void in between? Is that just a scary, confusing, disorienting nowhere that must be gotten through as fast and as unconsciously as possible?

    NO! What a wasted opportunity that would be. I have a sneaking suspicion that the transition zone is the only real thing and the bars are illusions we dream up to avoid the void where the real change, the real growth, occurs for us. Whether or not my hunch is true, it remains that the transition zones in our lives are incredibly rich places. They should be honored, even savored. Yes, with all the pain and fear and feelings of being out of control that can (but not necessarily) accompany transitions, they are still the most alive, most growth-filled, passionate, expansive moments in our lives.

    So, transformation of fear may have nothing to do with making fear go away, but rather with giving ourselves permission to “hang out” in the transition between trapezes. Transforming our need to grab that new bar, any bar, is allowing ourselves to dwell in the only place where change really happens. It can be terrifying. It can also be enlightening in the true sense of the word. Hurtling through the void, we just may learn how to fly.

  • How to create momentum and freedom in life and business?

    Sometimes telling the truth is just the beginning.  Sometimes when we know the truth about what needs to be done, we are also the ones who have to get off our butts and do something about it.

    One day I was driving home and singing along to one of my favorite songs on the radio, feeling peaceful as I contemplated a relaxing evening. Then, as the garage door opened, I stopped singing. Something dreadful loomed in front of me. It had been sitting there for months gloating at me. I’d seen it maybe a hundred times before, and I knew what needed to be done. Yet I’d done nothing. As if it would somehow fix itself, over time; like the problem would just go away by ignoring it.

    It was a lawnmower with a broken wheel. The day I’d first discovered that broken wheel, I’d told myself, “I need to fix that wheel.” Then I thought, “I’ll fix it later.” That was more than six months earlier, and now my nemesis had become so powerful it had silenced my song and darkened my mood. I had turned my lawnmower into an incomplete in my life, and incompletesprocrastination_stop rob me of creative energy.

    How many of us can relate to this scenario? In a way, it seems silly doesn’t it?

    I’m talking about things you know you need to handle, yet resist handling. Sometimes we’ll deal with the gnawing discomfort of procrastination for months, rather than deal with 10 minutes of “have to.”

    But make no mistake, when you put things off that you believe must be done, it steals the joy and creativity from other parts of your life. Why? Because your better Self keeps track of your internal promises. I knew I hadn’t fixed that broken wheel, and every time I saw it became a subtle reminder of a broken promise to myself.

    Here’s the terrible truth about things we don’t want to do that have to be done: if we’re waiting until we feel like it, we’ll never do it. I most likely will never wake up and say, “Today, I feel like fixing the wheel on that old lawnmower.” Meanwhile, when you’re waiting to feel like taking care of that one irritating item, a slew of others will follow on its heels, until the weight of all you’ve left undone threatens to make you feel so overwhelmed you don’t want to do anything at all.

    When we resist completion long enough it leads to numbness, inertia, freezing up.

    Let’s get real about the simplest yet hardest thing that leaders do. Leaders complete things. Leaders do what they say they’re going to do.

    I finally told myself that lawnmower would not fix itself, so I had one of five choices: 1) Decide I don’t give a hoot about the broken wheel, 2) Buy a new lawnmower, 3) Pay someone to fix it, 4) Figure out how to fix it myself, or 5) Do nothing and continue to feel frustrated every time I walk into the garage.

    I chose option four and fixed it myself. Take a guess how good that felt!

    I am not suggesting you should fix all the broken wheels in your life, unless you want to.

    When taking action, that’s an important thing to consider: Do you want to? Once you know that, it’s easier to complete the task. When you ask yourself that question, remember to consider the consequences if your option is not number four: How will you feel if you do nothing? Are you willing to live with that?

    Whatever you do, do yourself a favor, don’t wait until you feel like it to deal with the stuff that you believe needs doing. And let’s get real about the time element. How long does it really take to fix a broken wheel, or to handle most of the incompletes in your life? In most cases, not long!

    I spent many more frustrating moments not fixing that stupid wheel in my head than it took to fix it in reality—all of 10 minutes.

    task-completedWhat incompletes are you avoiding?

    Here’s some motivation to help you pick one and move on it: Incompleteness creates chaos, but completion releases energy and creates freedom and builds velocity in life and business. And it just feels good.



    Stephen Paul